


quiet as lions

by AnEndlessFire



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Angst, Established banghim, M/M, Shapeshifting, Smut, Supernatural Elements, Youngjae-Centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-05 21:42:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12197958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnEndlessFire/pseuds/AnEndlessFire
Summary: 26 year-old Youngjae reaches a point where living isn't exciting anymore and his tomorrows look bleak.In the midst of rebuilding himself and creating a better future, he meets an intruiging man with amber eyes who, coincidentally, is trying to find his own past.





	1. a goddamn corpse in a centerfold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AbelsGrave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbelsGrave/gifts), [stigmafermata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stigmafermata/gifts).



> hello!  
> as always, im starting a new fic on a whim, with no plans at all, yay  
> hope you enjoy ♥

Youngjae was twenty-one when he graduated university. His university career had been modest but he’d made it through. He was quite proud of himself the day he showed the diploma to his parents, and prouder when he found a paid internship only two months after graduating. Something in marketing. It could only do him good to get some experience straight out of university.

He was twenty-two when he finished his internship and was offered to keep the position as a full-time job, an offer he seized immediately as the job was well-paid for a first experience. His coworkers were friendly and cooperative, his manager was patient and helpful, he had nothing to complain about. It was nothing much, a regular 9 to 5 in a simple office, surrounded by bare white walls, drinking mediocre coffee and listening to the sound of his own fingers tapping on the keyboard. It was a simple life, not very exciting, but it was only the beginning, he’d told himself. Everyone had to start somewhere.

Youngjae was only twenty-six when he lost his youthful illusions. He was still stuck in the same office job, doing the same repetitive tasks four years later. He’d had a small paid raise since then, and had gained a few responsibilities as well, but if he was honest with himself: not much had changed. It wasn’t exactly the life he’d dreamed of when he’d decided to go to university. He’d tried to go for a few interviews over the years, but he was only offered slightly different versions of what he already had every single time, minus the pay raise.

Youngjae had never been such a naïve kid – he’d never dreamt of fame or fortune, or even aspired to have a solid career path by the time he’d turned twenty-five. But when he was in university, life was exciting. Thinking of the future had always been utterly terrifying, but in his day-to-day life, however simple it had been, hadn’t known many moments that weren’t either filled with joy, pain or something in between. He’d had a tight group of friends that he could rely on with a blind faith, a tiring but well-paid part time of job at the campus library where he’d met all sorts of interesting students, had dated a few delightful, engaging, attractive people who’d taught him a lot about himself, although they’d all been very short relationships with little to no commitment. He’d lived simply, but he had lived.

At the time, he’d loved singing and his friends would meet every Saturday night to do karaoke together. It was a tradition that, although he’d kept the same group of friends even years after university, had gradually disappeared off their calendars. It was partly his fault – he’d been the first one to desert their weekly reunions, finding excuses to escape an event that he’d been the one to set up years prior. He still loved his friends to death – but he couldn’t help the feeling of inadequacy he felt when he was around and they talked about their own lives. It wasn’t good to compare but he couldn’t help it. Himchan and Yongguk were a few months and formalities away from opening their own label and the inseparable pair would get married some time in the following year. Jongup had finally left his job as a dance teacher for school children to pursue his own dancing career and it was going quite well, even better than the young man could have predicted. Junhong was still working the same small job in a coffee shop than he’d had all through university but he also spent his weekends working on his music with Yongguk and was set to debut as soon as the label took off.

When he looked at his own life, it could hardly compare. He refused to complain because he knew a lot of people had it way worse – he had a well-paid job that put food on the table and allowed him to live in a modest but cozy apartment. But if he looked at his life objectively, it was just… decent. Everything from his job to the way he spent his free time was nothing but decent. He hadn’t imagined himself settling in for such a disappointing, excitement-free life when he was still so young. He had a decent but empty life. He had very few plans for the future, no clear career objectives. Nothing to look forward to.

His mother still called him every week like she did when he was in university, except now she nagged him about finding a girlfriend and getting married sooner than later. He’d dated around a bit in the last few years but nothing had passed three months. He was tired of wasting his and the other person’s time and would cut things off quickly. Soul-searching _à deux_ was fun in his early twenties; it felt almost uncomfortable now. Maybe he was naïve after all, but he expected more from a relationship than just ‘ _we get along and you’re moderately attractive_ ’. He was never the kind to expect somehow to come out of nowhere and sweep him off his feet, drastically changing his life forever. But if he was to share his life with someone, it had to be a person he truly cared about, not just whoever could make him feel a little less lonely on the weekend.

Somehow, he’d isolated himself in his nothing but decent life, afraid to visit his parents because of their loving but unbearable pressure to start a family, afraid to see his friends because of the feeling of inferiority that left him a bitter aftertaste that took days to vanish. He didn’t know how he’d come to this – had he played it too safe by choosing the first job offer he was given? – but he was unsure of how he could change it now, or if he even wanted to. After all, he was comfortable in his own misery – a job, a roof, a fridge that was always full.

His friends, however, had never given up on him. He couldn’t tell them about all that – how he felt inadequate when he was around them, how his chest felt hollow, emptied out of the warmth and cheerfulness that characterized him when they’d first met, his days simply passing by without his own consent – but they knew. But they could easily tell from his short answers that barely sounded convincing to himself when they asked him how he was doing, and they could see it in the way he always seemed like he wanted to runaway – where exactly, he didn’t even know. But they’d never given up on him, not once, not even when he was the one pushing them away.

 

It was Himchan who called him again on that Monday evening. Youngjae had come home two hours earlier and, after a quick shower, he’d spent most of the evening sprawled on his couch, nibbling on whatever leftovers he had in the fridge while watching a random documentary on TV. Ignoring Himchan was pointless. Missed one of his calls? He would call you three more times in the hour, then send you six or seven texts before the end of the day, each gradually sounding both angrier and more worried. Ignored his texts? He’d show up the next day at your front door at the exact time you always left home to go to work, ready to give you a speech and check you were still in one piece at the same time. Youngjae knew all too well, so when he saw his older friend’s name on the screen, he picked up the call with a heavy sigh.

“The hermit picked up on the first call,” was the first thing he heard the other’s all too familiar voice say on the other end of the phone. “What an honor.”

“I changed my mind, I’ll hang up now,” he said, but the words were spineless. “Hi, Himchan.”

He had to admit, hearing his friend’s voice always brought him a sense of comfort, a warmth that was hard to describe with simple words. Youngjae had met Himchan over ten years ago. Up until Himchan left to attend university, they had been neighbors since the day the older boy had moved in the white pavilion across the street. Youngjae was in middle school then. It wasn’t a complete coincidence that he’d ended up choosing to attend the very same university, even though the older boy graduated  the same year he joined. Himchan had guided Youngjae through his life for as long as he could – until the younger boy hadn’t let him, pushing him away like he’d pushed everyone else. But it was impossible to completely shut Himchan out, not when his voice sounded more like home than his own mother’s.

After the usual ‘ _how was your day?_ ’s and other hollow questions, Himchan finally got to the bottom of the call.

“Yongguk and I are having a small party on Saturday evening,” he said, his voice suddenly careful, as if he was bringing bad news. “Well, it’s more like a reunion than a party. We’re almost done furnishing the label’s headquarters and we wanted to show our close friends around, and also introduce you to some of our future staff. It’s a small thing, you know, ten-fifteen people maximum.”

The older man was met with silence as Youngjae silently battled against the guilt that twisted his stomach. As usual, his brain had already come up with a million excuses to not show up – but he also knew it was a big day for Himchan and Yongguk. Choosing to miss it because he was stuck in his own comfortable misery seemed at best selfish, at worse resentful. His friends were allowed to be happy and fulfilled even if he wasn’t.

“Youngjae, you don’t have to stay for long,” Himchan added after a minute, fourteen years of friendship allowing him to read into the silence like an open book. “You can just pass by for an hour or so and leave if you don’t feel comfortable. But it’s been almost two months since we’ve seen each other and I’d love to have you here. And so would Yongguk. Besides, you know everyone else except for the new staff, which is literally three people.”

Youngjae still didn’t quite know what to say, a short battle taking place inside his mind that he already knew he was going to lose.

“I miss you,” he heard his friend say, and he felt the rusty hinges of his shielded, unnecessarily self-protective mind start to loosen. While he didn’t doubt the sincerity in his friend’s words one bit, he also knew Himchan was now an expert at picking the right words to convince him.

“Fine, I’ll be here,” he said, giving in, but somehow it didn’t feel like defeat. “I can’t promise I will stay the whole night.”

“It’s alright,” Himchan said soothingly. “Do whatever feels more comfortable. I can’t wait to see you.”

 

Reunions with Himchan had always been quite dramatic – it was in fact an inescapable part of being close to Himchan. Youngjae groaned in fake annoyance as his taller friend hugged him tightly before he’d even had time to say hello, engulfing Youngjae’s thin body with his own. Oddly, he felt his eyes start to prickle, unexpected tears suddenly close by. He realized he hadn’t had such a close interaction with anyone in almost two months – and he wasn’t quite sure whether they were tears of sadness at his own life or joy at the sight of his friend. He managed to sneakily wipe them away before they started to spill. Yongguk was always less ceremonial, the man simply patting his head kindly with a shy smile in form of salutations.

Youngjae had only arrived ten minutes late – he _hated_ being first – but the place already seemed full. The two older men didn’t make a ceremony out of his entrance, which he was grateful for, but neither Jongup nor Junhong missed him as he walked in, the two young men happily celebrating his presence. His endless guilt briefly manifested itself as they expressed how long it had been since they’d last met, quickly replaced with an unfamiliar happiness as he found himself surrounded by friendly faces, all busy reminding him just how much they’d missed him. He would have blushed from all the attention if he didn’t have a few ounces of dignity left.

Once he’d escaped Junhong and Jongup’s embraces, Yongguk gave him a quick personal tour of their studios before bringing him back to Himchan, who was eager to introduce him to their future staff. First, there was Chaeyoung, Youngjae wasn’t completely sure what position she would be holding but she was good enough at light conversation that Himchan didn’t have to intervene to save him from his own awkwardness for once. When he thought of how much of a social butterfly he used to be in university, he felt his heart shrink. That was what a prolonged lack of meaningful social interactions had done to him.

Then there was Hyesong, a woman that seemed barely a few years older than Himchan, who apparently had quite a bit of experience in the music industry. She was pleasant to talk to as well, but somehow, he felt like the conversation would have run short very quickly if Himchan hadn’t put an end to it to bring him towards their last addition to the ship.

The third staff member was a man who looked to be around Youngjae’s age. He was busy talking to Yongguk, a half empty glass of champagne in one hand, when Himchan interrupted them to introduce Youngjae.

“This is Daehyun,” the older man said as the two shook hands. “He’s a vocal coach, but he’s also a decent songwriter and he’s a lot of help.”

“Decent?” Daehyun said, fake offended. “That’s a little harsh, even from you.”

Daehyun had warm brown eyes that seemed almost too big for his face. When he smiled, a million creases formed around them, which Youngjae found oddly captivating. They made him look friendly.

 

Daehyun never ran out of words, it turned out. The good thing was that he wasn’t shy to talking about himself, which made up for Youngjae’s shortcomings every time the conversation started to die down. He was a nice enough guy from what he could get that evening, cheerful and passionate about his job. It almost made Youngjae feel nostalgic, but he couldn’t dare to bring up his long-buried love for singing into the conversation, not in front of a professional. It would only remind him of all the other chances he’d let pass by.

Youngjae surprised himself by not fleeing as soon as he got the chance. Being around his friends was a lot more effortless than his own mind had made it out to be – and if he’d been honest with himself, he would have already realized by now it was always easier than he anticipated. The new staff was pleasant to be around too, and he found himself doing one more tour of the building accompanied by Chaeyoung and Daehyun, some rooms still bearing the smell of fresh paint. Although still unfinished, the label’s future headquarters looked both intimate and professional at the same time, all furnished and painted in different shades of grey, black and white. More so, it looked like Yongguk and Himchan through and through. He could tell his friends had invested a lot of time into personally picking every single detail so that their future workplace – and home away from home – would both look welcoming to newcomers and have its own essence, one that would be intrinsically infused with theirs.

Daehyun and Chaeyoung were about as cheerful as Junhong and Jongup, which made for quite a happy evening stuck in between these four wildlings. He learned that Daehyun was only a year older than him, that he’d worked as a vocal coach for a few years in a famous label company but was now ready to sacrifice his slightly-above-average wage for a new adventure where he’d get more input on the creative process–  and down the line, could eventually record his own music, Himchan had filled him in later. Chaeyoung was a few years younger and fresh out of university. It was her first full time job and she seemed eager to start. He couldn’t blame her – he knew the workload would be considerate at first for a pay that would be slightly underwhelming given the label was just starting out, but she would be in good hands.

 

By the end of the evening, he’d drank a few glasses of champagne, laughed a lot more than he’d expected and left with a pleasant warmth in his stomach, the unfamiliar sign of a fulfilling evening. When his eyes started to feel heavy, he quickly went around and bid everyone a good night before Himchan had time to nag him about driving him back home, as if his apartment wasn’t only a twenty-minute walk away from the label– which meant the older boy would soon be able to barge in uninvited even more often.

Despite having one glass of champagne too many, he still felt clear-headed enough to walk home by himself, the cold air that hit him as soon as he stepped outside awakening his senses and instantly sobering him up. October had just rolled around and the nights had already become considerably chillier. He first walked with a quick pace, cuddled inside his coat like a child in a blanket. It took him a few minutes to realize he had company.

Walking right next to his feet was a small cat with huge amber eyes. If it weren’t for the way they glowed in the darkness, Youngjae wouldn’t have seen its slim body covered in black fur in the darkness. Its soft paws made no noise as they bounced off the concrete floor.

Youngjae stopped for a second, and so did the cat, although it somehow looked displeased with the action.

“Are you lost?” Youngjae whispered as he crouched next to the animal.

It had no collar or any sign of belonging to someone but it was odd for a stray cat to randomly follow a human being. They usually seemed quite indifferent to people passing by.

The cat meowed, then looked at the road ahead as if to ask why he’d stopped in his tracks. When he reached out to pet it, the cat meowed once more, escaping before his hand could reached its small head. It walked a few steps ahead before stopping again, his wide eyes turning back to Youngjae.

So, the man did as he was told and started walking again. It could have been the champagne but it took him a few minutes to realize that the cat was leading the way this time, stopping at every turn to check which way to go. It was almost as if he was being escorted home by a very cute bodyguard who’d chosen him for obscure reasons. Not that he was complaining – it was endearing to see the small animal meow in frustration with his slower pace.

Once they reached his apartment, he hesitated a few seconds in front of the door, keys dangling from his fingers. He didn’t want to leave the cat outside in the cold night – although the animal seemed unbothered by the chilly autumn air – but his landlord had made it quite clear that no animals were allowed in the apartment. And even if he had it in just for the night, it would be cruel to force it to leave in the morning after a warm night inside.

When he finally opened the door, he was surprised to find that the cat had no desire to follow him in. It stayed perfectly still on the pavement, meowing at him when he took too long to close the door.

“Do you not want to come in?” Youngjae said, grateful none of his neighbors were out or he would have looked ridiculous. “Do you have a home?”

For a split second, he swore he’d seen the cat nod. _You’re definitely drunk_ , he thought a minute later as he closed the door, going back to his senses.

When he looked outside the window ten minutes later, his new furry friend was gone. 

 


	2. can't look back, can't look too far ahead

The opening of the label was not only a huge turn point in Yongguk’s and Himchan’s lives, it also provided Youngjae with a new safe haven. He first passed by a few days after they were officially up and running just to congratulate them and their new staff – he’d missed the opening day because of work and felt slightly guilty about it – and he was, as always, welcomed with open arms by his friends. The label was not only just twenty minutes away from where he lived, it was also only a few bus stations away from his workplace and it was easy to just drop by in the evening when he’d leave work on time – which soon became a habit.

It almost seemed like everyone who worked at the label was there 24/7 and he was surprised by the involvement and the enthusiasm coming from their limited staff – given that they had to do the jobs of ten people at once for now, until the couple could afford hiring new people in. Chaeyoung always welcomed him with open arms and a huge smile – she worked as both a receptionist and secretary, it turned out – and would never fail to get him a cup of coffee while he waited until Himchan or Yongguk were free. The young girl was full of life, not bothered one bit about the long hours and the heavy workload that piled upon her. “Oh, don’t worry, I’ve only been here until noon!” she’d said warmly when he’d asked her if she wasn’t tired of leaving work late into the evening every night. It was both refreshing and irritating to be faced with such unfaltering enthusiasm – it reminded him of how he used to be when he’d first started working, convinced his job would lead him to a million opportunities if only he did his best. But he could hardly blame the girl for poorly managing his own life.

From time to time, he’d also bump into Daehyun while waiting patiently in the hallway. The man was always on his way out, looking so bright as he was leaving work someone could’ve thought he’d just got in, all toothy smiles and crinkled eyes. He’d never miss to ask Youngjae if he wanted a ride home, repeating the generous offer every single time despite him always declining, stating he was waiting for Himchan. And every single time, Daehyun would then stay a few more minutes just to chat a bit, as if he wasn’t almost running out of the building a minute before. It was always him dominating the conversation, never running out of things to talk about, but Youngjae didn’t mind. Daehyun clearly liked the sound of his own voice but his conversations were never self-centered or boastful, he just genuinely seemed to love talking to people, even when faced with a socially-deprived wall like Youngjae. It felt nice to be considered a valuable listener by someone he barely knew and somehow made up for his lack of social interactions.

What Youngjae enjoyed the most about his new routine however was not so much the new acquaintances but the blinding smile that appeared on Himchan’s face every single time the older man would spot Youngjae waiting for him in the hallway. It didn’t matter that it was his third time passing by this week, the older boy would greet him as if they hadn’t seen each other for years, with warm hugs and happy cheers. Youngjae would take it all in, wondering each time what he’d done to deserve such a wonderful friend. Never in his life had he imagined a person could feel more like home than a place.

After a month of this, Youngjae realized this new routine – which he’d originally started as a way of avoiding his own miserable life – did do him some good. He felt a little bit lighter when he’d walk out of work, his mind already salivating at the thought of walking into this new happy place his friends had created. He felt like he was involved in something, when he saw Daehyun cheerfully boasting about all the progress they had done during the day or Himchan complain about how much work they had left to do. As if he played even the smallest role in this huge ensemble, just by being here. It wasn’t much but it was a start.

Unfortunately, these moments of light-heartedness didn’t last very long. By the time he’d get home, he wasn’t sure it was the start of what. He’d fall off his little cloud as soon as he’d walk into his apartment, greeted by the messiness of his own living space and leftovers from the previous night in the fridge. He was fully aware that he couldn’t live in the little bubble of happiness he’d created over the last month every time he’d walked into the label’s premises. At the end of the day, what happened there was not his doing – he was only a spectator in his friend’s lives, observing them direct their own fates and write their own scripts as he stood by. It was a dangerous game to revel in being just that, an audience member in someone else’s show. The risk was that, in the meantime, he also remained a spectator in his own, passively letting days go by without holding on to them.

“ _Your friends’ progress isn’t your own,”_ the voice in his head would remind him every night as he was trying to find sleep. “ _You can’t take credit for their hard work. You can only take credit for your own failure_.” He found it hard to find any argument to contradict it.

 

Frustration was an all too familiar feeling for Youngjae, yet he could never quite get used to it, this feeling of dissatisfaction mixed with a tiny bit of anger and disappointment. It was yet another evening where he’d headed straight towards the label, hoping it could lift his mood up even in the slightest bit. He’d had gotten barely any sleep the previous night and had to suffer through a very tedious day at work, his coworkers suddenly deciding to be particularly irritating and his manager exceptionally picky about his occasional mistakes. He’d waltzed inside the premises, cheerfully greeted by Chaeyoung as always, sighing heavily as he sat down on one of the chairs in the hallway. He wasn’t left alone for long as he soon recognized a familiar silhouette coming out of the corridor that lead to several offices.

“Youngjae!” Daehyun said, smiling as he noticed the smaller man slouching in the big chair.

“Didn’t expect to see you so soon,” Youngjae said monotonously, unable to recreate the same enthusiasm as the other man in his voice.

“I finished early for once,” he said. “Got a doctor’s appointment.”

He didn’t seem to be in such a hurry though, as he continued chatting away as he did every time Youngjae bumped into him, as if they were old friends from school and not people who’d met just a few months ago. What impressed Youngjae the most was how Daehyun was never put off by his grim attitude. It didn’t matter how unexcited Youngjae looked that day, making barely any effort to fuel the conversation, the other man always talked as if this was the best conversation he’d ever had and not just small talk.

“Why are you always so nice to me?” he heard himself say that evening, the words slipping through his lips out of frustration for not being able to give back the same cheerfulness he was receiving.

It was the first time he’d seen Daehyun stop in the middle of a conversation, the man stunned into silence for a few seconds. His big round eyes were still wider than the moon when he spoke again.

“You haven’t given me a reason not to be.”              

It was Youngjae’s turn to be taken aback, not expecting such a serious answer.

“That’s… a wonderful way to see the world,” he replied.

“Is there any other way?” Daehyun said, looking at him with an untamed curiosity.

“Well it’s definitely not my way,” Youngjae sighed. “Maybe it should be.”

“Oh, don’t beat yourself over it,” Daehyun said, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiled again. “We’re shaped by our own experiences anyway. Maybe I’m a little naïve, but I like to think that relationships start on a better footing if you try to be nice from the very beginning.”

“Well, you’re not wrong,” Youngjae said pensively. “But I tend to think there’s something in between being nice and straight up being mean, you know? Like a neutral ground. But maybe that’s what I’m missing, a little more naivety.”

Daehyun seemed to think for a second, clearly hesitating to add something.

“Well, I have to go,” he said after a few seconds, visibly deciding to let go of whatever was on his mind. “I’m late for my appointment now.”

“You didn’t have to talk to me, you know,” Youngjae said as the other man was crossing the front door.

“But I like talking to you!” Daehyun shouted back from the outside.

 

“Be careful on your way home!” Himchan shouted as Youngjae left the building. He’d stayed particularly late that evening, taking advantage of the fact that the older boy was a little less busy than usual to spend a more time together. For someone that could be unbearably overprotective, Himchan’s presence was also very soothing. The man would always nag him about little things, never letting go of Youngjae’s insignificant but undeniably bad habits, but everything else was off limits. Himchan would never criticize any of his decisions or life choices, nor did he make him feel bad for feeling a certain way, even when Youngjae was being downright irrational. The most surprising part was that, despite the little dark clouds that always followed him around, infecting the atmosphere everywhere he went, Youngjae’s presence still seemed to have the same effect on his friend. He could hardly understand how his friends had the patience to put up with his constant negativity, and yet Himchan never failed to thank him every single time he visited for brightening up his evening.

“All I’ve done was complain about work,” Youngjae had said only a few minutes before he’d left.

“Yeah but you’re cute even when you do that,” Himchan had laughed, squeezing his friend’s cheek like a child’s. “Seriously Youngjae, thank you for always passing by. I’ll take any conversation topic as long as it doesn’t have to do with the label these days. Even if it’s just you complaining about work.”

 

Youngjae liked walking home alone. Even in the early December cold, he enjoyed passing by the familiar streets that circled his own, rediscovering them while they were empty and he wasn’t running to catch a bus or a train. He held on to those few minutes of peacefulness, not in a hurry to find his way back to his messy apartment.

He’d not even walked five minutes when he bumped into his furry friend again. Well, he did not exactly bump into him. This time again, the beautiful black cat was following him around. Youngjae had no idea where it came from – he hadn’t seen it come out of any of the houses in the neighborhood and it was unlikely the cat came from the busy avenue where the label was planted. Yet here it was, walking right next to him, its big eyes looking at the man as if it recognized him too.

“Oh hello,” Youngjae said, stopping in his tracks to look at it. “Long time no see.”

The cat meowed in response, once again seemingly eager to keep walking.

“It’s been a while,” Youngjae continued. “What is a cat doing outside this late in this weather? You must be cold.”

As he crouched down to get closer to it, the cat started hissing as if it had already guessed what the human was about to do. Yet, when Youngjae seized the cat with his two hands, it made no effort to flee, not even when the man tucked its thin body inside his coat so that only its head would come out of it.

“Better, right?” Youngjae said, laughing at the disapproving meowing that followed.

Thus he walked home with a stray cat tucked in his coat, with no idea what he was supposed to do with it once he’d get home. He couldn’t exactly leave it out on the streets, could he? It would be awfully cruel to let the animal go with such weather. But at the same time, if this was truly a stray cat, it wouldn’t make much a difference if he kept the cat only for one night – he wasn’t allowed to have one in his apartment anyway, so he’d have to release it come morning and God knew what would happen to it the following night.

Still, he decided to do what he believed was right, hoping none of his neighbor would catch him sneak a cat into his apartment and tell his landlord.

As he was unlocking his front door, the animal started to fidget inside his coat, patting the man’s chest with its paws, eager to get out.

“I made up my mind,” Youngjae said. “I’m keeping you in for the night, whether you like it or not.”

The cat started to hiss and meow at him as he closed the door and released him onto the wooden floor.  

“I’m not leaving a cat outside in December,” Youngjae argued. “I’ll let you go in the morning. It’s only one night.”

Surprisingly, the cat suddenly stopped straight way, as if the man’s words made perfect sense, turning around instead to explore the apartment. Youngjae had never seen a cat act so human-like. He’d been prepared to have it either fight against him all night or hide under the furniture out of fear, but he’d never imagined it to settle this quickly for spending the night in a stranger’s apartment. But then if it really was a stray cat, he reasoned, it was probably used to sleeping in different environments every night.

He took his shoes off and walked into his living room, only to find the cat already settled comfortably on his couch as if it had been living there all its life. He sat down next to it, the exhaustion from such a long day suddenly catching up to him. To his surprise, the animal left its cozy spot on the sofa to climb on his lap, cuddling onto his thighs, its big amber eyes never leaving the man’s gaze.

“Don’t get too comfortable,” Youngjae whispered. “It’s only for one night. I’m not supposed to have any pets here.”

Just like the first time, the cat rejected any attempt at petting, pushing his hand away with its paws every time he tried.

“I thought we were pals now,” Youngjae said softly, abandoning after a few tries. “Why won’t you let me pet you?”

The cat meowed in response, cuddling back onto his lap now that the man had stopped.

“There’s something familiar about you,” Youngjae continued curiously. “I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s just because we already met that one time.”

He couldn’t point out what it was exactly that made him this animal look so familiar. He’d never had a pet before, not even growing up, but he had the same feeling finding this cat for the second time as when he bumped into someone from middle school that he’d long forgotten about. As if there was some distant memories attached to that person somewhere in his brain but there were not significant enough to fully resurface. Maybe it was the eyes, those very recognizable orbs that followed him around with a determination he’d hardly expect to see in a lost animal. Or maybe it was the way this cat had such a distinctive personality that made it easy to personify.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” he said after a few minutes, before the cat fell asleep on his lap and he was stuck on this couch forever. “Don’t do anything bad while I’m gone.”

Ten minutes later, he found the cat in the same position he’d left it, its thin body spread over the couch in a way that did not look comfortable at all – but then, cats. It seemed as if it had already fallen asleep, and Youngjae was more than eager to follow his example, a yawn reminding him how long he’d been awake. He turned the lights off and slid inside the sheets, happily reunited with his warm bed, leaving the furry ball to its own devices for the rest of the night.

 

When he woke up the next morning, the couch was empty. He checked everywhere to find the cat, worried it might have panicked when it woke up in an unknown environment, under the furniture, in the closets, in the bathroom that’d he’d left open the previous night. Even under his bed. The animal was nowhere to be found.

It was only when he stepped into the living room and a chill ran through his entire body that he realized the large window overlooking the street was wide open.

 

As he’d woken up at dawn to deal with the cat situation, he found himself ready for work almost an hour before he usually left. He took the opportunity to return the scarf that he’d borrowed from Himchan the previous night – after heavy insistence from his friend. The clock hadn’t even struck eight yet, so he didn’t expect to find anyone at the label, but Himchan had given him a spare key just in case he couldn’t go home for some reason and needed a space to spend the night. He unlocked the front door swiftly, not bothering to turn the lights on as his feet knew the way to the man’s office by heart.

He was just about to leave again, making sure to close the studio behind him and thus leaving no trace of him, when he heard a sudden voice coming from the end of the corridor.

“Early bird, I see?”

Youngjae jumped almost two meters backwards, not expecting to find anyone in the dark, empty offices. When he turned towards the silhouette a few meters away from him, he was greeted by a laugh that could belong to one person only.

“Jung Daehyun!” he said, out of breath. “What are you doing here this early?”

“I woke up early so I came by my office to finish some stuff,” the other man replied as he turned the lights on. “Didn’t bother turning on the lights in the rest of the building because I know the others won’t be here until 9, at least. Did you have a good night? You look tired.”

“A… weird one,” Youngjae replied. “I’ve had better nights, I guess. You?”

“Slept like a baby,” Daehyun said happily.

Youngjae had never seen someone so bright in an office space, especially before 9 am. This man was a complete mystery to him. In Youngjae’s office, looking miserable was almost an official sport. In fact, it was how most conversations where started in the morning. Any complaint about the weather or traffic during rush hour made a wonderful topic of conversation.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve slept this well, actually,” Daehyun continued.

“I wish I lived in your world,” Youngjae sighed.

“What are you doing here?” the other man asked, quite rightfully. He was the real intruder.

“Just giving something back to Himchan,” he replied. “I have to go to work now. It was nice to see you though.”

He started walking back towards the hallway when Daehyun called out his name.

“Wait, Youngjae,” the man said, catching up to him in a few strides. “I thought it was a bit weird to always bump into each other in the office like this. Are you free this weekend? There’s this restaurant in the corner of the street we always go to with the others, I think you’d like it.”

Youngjae suddenly felt very warm and he prayed to every god out there that he wasn’t blushing in front of this grown man. No one had asking him to hang out outside of work in years, apart from Himchan who practically had to drag him out of his apartment every time.

“Oh. Yes, I am free this weekend,” he replied in what he hoped was a casual tone, pretending that he did have some sort of social life outside coming here in the evening almost every day. “Is Chaeyoung coming too? I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Oh,” Daehyun replied, as if he hadn’t considered that before. “I’ll ask her if she’s free.”

“Great.”

“Now if you could give me your number so I can text you the details…” Daehyun said after the other didn’t say anything.

God, he was slow. He’d really become rusty at this meeting new people thing.

After a quick exchange of numbers, he waved at the other man and left to catch the nearest bus. He felt unbelievably light, despite not getting as much sleep as usual. He was almost looking forward to this day of work. He’d forgotten what it was like, to have something new to look forward to, even if it was nothing more than a friendly date with new acquaintances.

His mind took him back to the cat from the previous night. Nothing much had changed in his life in the last few months – same job, same house, same friends – and yet it seemed like all these unusual little things kept happening to him. He looked back at the label’s building from across the street as he sat down on an empty seat in the bus. Somehow, this new place that his friends had built had become the center of his life, changing his habits ever so slightly that all these minor events that could have never happened before found their way into his life.

His phone buzzed in his pocket as he got off the bus fifteen minutes later.

**Jung Daehyun** : _have a good day ~_

**Jung Daehyun** : _wait is_ _that too early in a friendship to start sending in texts like this_

**Jung Daehyun** : _ah screw it. have a nice day. promise im not some weird stalker_

Youngjae laughed as he pushed the door to his office.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll let you rage in the comments about youngjae's obliviousness 
> 
> i'm slowly building the context atm but soon there will be more action, i promise
> 
> thank you for reading!!   
> please leave kudos and comments ♥

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading ♥
> 
> just as a heads up: i have two other ongoing fics that i already struggle to update as often as i'd like. so please don't expect weekly (or even bi-weekly) updates ;; i'll do my best to update as often as i can!! 
> 
> also: the age differences in the fic are similarly to those irl. i'll let you calculate those, but it means himchan and youngjae have never really attended high school or uni at the same time, etc. and yet still remained friends down the years
> 
> anyway i ramble!!  
> please leave your thoughts down in the comments or on [twitter](https://twitter.com/anendlessfire)  
> thank you ♥


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